Synergy

Synergy
As your Energy traces through my veins
Complacent in a daze stuck in your ways
Somehow, I could stare at you for days
Make your mouth smile in different ways
yet and still you'd lie to my face.

If only you understood how much you fucking meant
In this universe of ours
I've dissected time trying to reprieve the ideas and thoughts you’ve had of me.
 I done cried trying to force myself to be everything I could never be

But even without me you try to duplicate my Energy
See our synergy our has been disrupted

And I am just stuck kid

How could you Bring someone else around our children how would you explain to them these things that you've done can you even contemplate how is feels to lose our first son does your mind have time to know postpartum or am I being blamed for not wanting to be another baby mama to start the vicious cycle again? Again am I less than a woman because I don't want to be yours anymore? I lost so much but I gained much more my grandfather was right all along. I always knew you didn't deserve me

Until you're used to my face & my mystery fades.

i had you...

i loved you before they all loved you.

but you left me before they left you
because you're different
and your saying i'm different

and you couldn't tell me the difference
No

between my love and they're lust

now my face you couldnt trusttelling me i was no one

it's all changed now, i wish you could see how

what you told me according to what see

how we're different, i don't want to be different 

this a waste of time sitting here writing lines
waiting for someday when you look my way

and i'm holding on to all what you used to say
or should i say do
our lust even though you broke trust

mystery faded yesterday & i'm tired of your face

filled of slander

don't appease me.

no 

when that's all i do i swear i cater to you

but for you to accuse

thinking about it

how could i doubt it

you not here when i need you to be

you push me to edge wait and see

my eyes swell with tear the fears of losing you after all these years

but you always tell me this is something that cant be let go
not even the depths of sand could define my love

shits been kind of grainy these past few days you see its the haze

now i know you never were right for me

i could hate you but i love you at same time

it killing my mind, is this sign?

that you wont love me, you'll forget me, and remember when need be...

that you always have me.

Scratching my name in your back, i bet you can't name another chick that could do that.
Making your legs shake with every stroke, i made it impossible to fit i mean forget.
I guess that's why your texting me and I'm laying here forgetting we'd ever exist.
Kissing on wishes and fucking next to the dreams
you sold me are getting kind of old, but nothing ever changed.
I guess the trail of bitches got to me
While i sat back supporting your wishes catering your needs
biting my tongue, and pretending everything was fine.
But you know my weaknesses, where they lied,
how to fix the stress, & undress my soul.
 Just fuck me & we'll go for the gold.
Harder & i'll gag on the past,
Deeper to all the problems we created.
Held me tighter until I was shaking.
Quaking Dripping Screaming Moaning Breathing
meaning everything I wanted you to mean.
But then it all became too much, how could i expect more from a good fuck?
What could i tell you, when i couldn't say a word?
What I expected you could no longer give?
Yet I've given you my first, last, & all.
Made me...
yours for years & still feared if i ever left you
but some reason i could never forget you.

Russian Roulette

Sitting across from you were at a stand still again, 

in this game there only chances and no clear win.

With a kiss alone, 

we have complicated the simplicity 

of the beauty i found in you.

the trust misplaced in my heart
is shattered. 

It was never really there never

never all together or full sure about anything

almost as bad as my mind
but with you it's been renewed.

Still sitting staring breathing hoping 

& dreaming there was an easier to play Russian Roulette...
Hating you is easy, 

Loving you is stupid, 

& letting go is the single hardest & most impossible
thing i cant seem to do.
With only one bullet , you've continuously shot me dead.

Only difference it's me you and my heart in this room.

my mind is distant from the words my heart speak,

my actions are deeply rooted to the good nature of my soul
But as i spin the barrel & the bullet is released
milliseconds never seemed so slow,
and as i thought ive finally won

you simply turned the gun to me...

random.

i fall for him like i missed a step.
i front on him but he's too hard to forget.
i remember the shit he does...
makes me question am i blind to love?
he picks me up & fucks me sweetly
not much of a conversationalist
unless its about tattoos or seeing me.
i hate him.
but he loves my hate.
i try and keep distance.
but i need him near.
if we stopped talking i'd disappear.
he complicates the art of me.
he owns part of my reality...
and i could never go cold on love.
but i'll imagine i have.
sadly he makes my imagination.
i'd kiss him goodbye,
he says not for long.
but i'm afraid they could tell
we were fucking around,
i hope we hide this well.
it's like he shits on my heart but i forget
it whens he's near...
i'm far gone off this nigga wish he'd disappear.
my vision is clear but my mind is cloudy,
how'd i allow this shit to happen to me?
love come mysteriously but leaves devastatingly
luckily i'm in between...

hot sex & cold wine...

picked up heels.
fixed my hair.
sat on the edge of the bed, in minutes we were @ it again.
he tore off my clothes
& painted the room with the sound of music
the elegant scratches on my back
& sweet hickeys on  his  neck left nothing to the imagination

the trail of clothes from the door to the bed
the smell of lust in the air
made me think this was meant to happen
again...

i wrapped myself in the sheets made my way to the bathroom
stepping over broken hearts and champagne glasses
i looked in mirror, i saw her but who was she?
but who was he?
he clinged to me
i ooked up again
lipstick faded, he comes and embraces me.
i struggle to remember the night before, the ballroom party life was never for me.
the hot wine & cold sex

replaced me

with her again, the loose virgin, version

of what i try not to be

fast sex & matching signs.
invisible attraction
that burnt between us eye flirtation
& mind manipulation
led to him biting my lip but i'll end it quick with a simple kiss
grab my dress put it on
where's my purse?
my stockings...
in the back of my mind
my legs are still wrapped around his head
my nails grabbing his hair
but for that he's wrapped around my thumb...
he knows my secrets, i know his name,
he's seen my cry, & he's picked up the pieces again & again.
he's begged me to take off my cool.
but now the lines been crossed, my best friend
&  my man?
hot sex & cold wine can bring out the truth in the most complicated lies.

uh huh

trying to unlock the mysteries of his heart & mind.

is consuming most of my time

the carefully careless way he seems to care

 produces wear & tear invisible to

the naked eyes

right when i have a strong clue 

i'm lead astray...

no way could he understand how his words weigh upon me

greater than any strength int his world 

if i could show him in any way form or fashion how permanent his words are

from now to then the changes he has made to his heart 

all so drastic 

i'd never thought he'd do such things to keep me away.

in his chest there is a key in his mind there is a lock.

but i have never mastered open heart or even contemplated brain surgery

one day im sweet as can be

the next an annoying disposition

the following private enemy number 1

and it worsens

only to get better the following week

i'd do anything to know what he truly thinks of me.

so unravel him i must,

not only physically or mentally emotionally too.

i want to know why he's the intriguing way he is?

how and why he means so much to me?

why is just being friends bothering me?

and how he truly feels will let the ink settle.

 i wish...

fucking for love?

While
his stiff kisses
fondle her
she becomes hypnotized
his hands reach beyond her
and leaves her paralyzed
he doesn't know.
as
he touches her there 
 she freezes
she licks him there
in hope he never leaves
he thaws her 
&
it gets beneath them
more her than him
& they feel it there
 it pleases him
she thinks
can you feel what this means to me?
i want to fuck you til you love me
he says
but thats like fucking for virginity
she wants to her legs to wrap around him until he's trapped
but as i tell her there is not a pussy tight enough to do such a thing
 she says
until
you feel something
that addictive
the thought of him stays with her
i see
the craft of his hands touching her
he wants to feel the desire
to be the purest sin
he wants his shoulders and her ankles to meet
as he explores her deeply
but within i think he knows just what to do
to have her at dispose
while his pleasure
will be her pain..
in the end 
fucking for love is purely insane.

are you worth remembering?

your eyes
is it easier to let go than hold on?  
your voice
because this question is plaguing my mind
 the kisses 
can i hold on while letting go
the bites
the bites and still have you on my mind?
 the scratches
am i able to wish away the things i dont like for the things i do?  
the moans
can i just have what i see for now 
the hair pulling
let go the problems 
the warmth of our bodies
and still keep you?  
the screams
if i must sacrifice my feelings for you in the sake of our friendship 
the old us
will we both smile? 
the music
can we still share the deep gazes & almost pure sex between our eyes? 
your smile
are we allowed to flirt occasionally or accidentally?
the sound of you breathing
can i have what i miss? 
the look in your eyes
without having to miss it? 
the lust
am i wrong for wanting a kiss from lips that are not mines?  
the ecstasy
it's driving me crazy about how i reminisce... 
the old you
but if it was made a memory does it deserved to be remembered?

mmm.
where do i begin?
is it the music or primal instinct,
thats causes us to attract each other because were here now
so let's find out!
i could poke moan whisper scratch bite lick suck touch pull hair grind & then make love,
until our bodies refuse
the moment before you cum ill make you stand for more and make your motions seize and your body jerk, just when were out of breath and our bodies are at there best!
but about him.
his body is warm to touch and
from his neck to his lips pure sexyness
in his eyes theres no surprise the feeling
he gets as i bite my lip and his hands are there
Guiding my hips as the strokes get longer
& my moan grow stronger, the risk we take make my knees shake my thighs quake and my words start to stutter and to even utter his name drives me insane. and when he puts it in its pure sextascy over and over again, it something about his face when i  make it tighter and this lil sounds he makes. or rough he gets when he bites my neck or squeezes bites and sucks my nipples and the scratches in his back are just the beginning of the truth he lays on me
his voice so smooth and addictive its kinda  makes me want to whisper & tease his ear then lick my lips & travel further, as i throw it back on him until i cant anymore, i feel  how he slams me against the wall is just animated sex the pleasure is the best
and when  our skin meets whether its a hug or a kiss on the cheek its like ribbons set to be unraveled i start to wonder how it feels and taste i start to go under and the grab chokes moans eye movements he makes just lets me know were almost there, but when you go faster and deeper and look at me dead in my eyes what a great surprise and when he ends every time with a kiss on  my forehead and a sexy goodbye.
he takes a piece of me with each & every time, but honestly i dont mind, i just dont know why?

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him.

His Arms were sculpted by god himself.

because each cut was made to cradle her.

His skin was mixed with the finest chocolates and his body made for her yearn.
His eyes are deeper than the the sea itself.
Only harder for her to pull away.

His hands are indescribable 

from fingerprints to touch 

by the amount of work he does to please her.

His legs long and strong for the amount of 

running to his avail.

His embrace is unparalleled to anything in this world.
His support alone can generate her world,

and his also.

His mind colors thoughts of how music would look

His thoughts shatters ideas of normalness, 

and defeats my fears of being alone.

His voice, commits the effortless, crimes that unlocks

her being, he relaxes her anima. 

His smile, rare when shes not near,

but copious when she comes to mind.

His friendship is incomparable uncompromisable 

irreplaceable like his love
but all this he doesn't see.

she'd give it all to have him back in her world.

understanding his mind is a mystery within it's self

Conquering his heart is an on going pleasure

meditating in his presence is something i have yet to blessed with.
they way he reads my soul is almost supernatural 

without him i fear i couldnt go on the same

like with him my breath leaves me i fear it might come back

again

and i'm blind b/c my hearts still intact 

and if my eyes come to sight and i feel 

my wrongs

he wont be here to prove them right

&without me i guess he'd be alright
although he tends to tell me different

but all i need is to talk to him every night 

& i wake up alittle more blessed 

everyday because

knowing him just makes it all worth it.

i dont usually fall in love.

i dont usually care this much.

but for you i think you've

done the impossible

unspeakable

&yet i still cant believe it

i saved alot of oney on my car insurance!!!

wooooooooo!